Do a handstand!

How well do people know the authentic you? Or is the real you hidden somewhere below the surface? People who know me, and sometimes people who only meet me for a few minutes, often describe me as fearless…but what they don’t know is that I’m actually terrified inside of many things – like being afraid to swing at a tennis ball or ski down a mountain or jump off a high dive (it literally took me an hour once to finally jump at the Lake Club when I was 10) or things like speaking up for myself or even taking a risk at work . And I don’t know why I feel so afraid- I guess because I’m worried I’ll miss, or fall over, or FAIL and people will laugh at me- so I tell myself I can’t do it and I don’t even try… But something happened recently that reminded me that that’s really not the healthiest or easiest way to live your life, and if you take away your fear and stop judging yourself, life can actually be fun, and you’ll find yourself doing things you never imagined possible.

While taking a yoga class outside the other day with my friends Luana and Wayne, (the Laughing Lotus class in the park by the High Line on Weds from 7pm-8pm is lovely), the task came to do handstand-and I instantly froze. Fear took over- just like when I was a little girl in middle school in gym class during a game of Dead Ball when I’d literally peg myself dead just to get out of the game and avoid playing- and I thought to myself “I can’t do it, I’m not going to even try, and I’ll sit this one out”- but my friend Luana (who IS TRULY fearless- she beat breast cancer and started an amazing organization to help others beat it too) - was not letting me off easy and she MADE me do it- despite my verbal excuses and rationalizing… and much to my surprise after several attempts, kicks and screams (not very Zen I know) I found that I was on my hands, feet in the air and she even let go for a minute! And I thought to myself- I did it- and I CAN do it- so stop being so afraid! I felt amazing. And then I wanted to do it again and again! Coincidentally my friend Wayne was so unafraid he didn’t just do a handstand- he also walked on his hands until he fell over and laughed. (I don’t think he knows the meaning of fear- at least during yoga.) But there was something so freeing about knowing that I could literally kick my feet up in the air and hold myself up without any problem at all when 5 minutes prior I was certain I could never do it. I was proud of myself- and very grateful my friend Luana did not let me chicken out like I always do.

And after that moment I realized something- fear can be crippling and hold us back from so many new and wonderful experiences and not allow us to “play”, but it’s those few minutes of doubt right before we take the plunge that can truly make us or break us. If we don’t truly believe we can do it, even after we decide to go through with something, things might still fall apart- and believe me I know-I am the one who dove into the diving board once after I decided I couldn’t do an inward dive when on the diving team at 12 years old- but the problem was I decided it AFTER I jumped and I have the scars to prove it. I dove right into the board- OUCH. The key is to just go for it without any fear and trust, because if you never try- you’ll never know- and it’s our fears and judgements that are holding us back. So next time you feel the that devilish fear come up in your ear and whisper “you can’t do it…” tell it to kindly F--- Off (yes be that bold) and go for it- jump, dive, leap, swing… and I promise you not only will you feel free and exhilarated, but chances are you’ll do whatever it was you were certain you couldn’t do before and then some.

Namaste friends. Go have some fun!

A revisit to a something I often forget...

This may not be a funny story...but I'd like to take a moment to touch on our feelings of self worth and our desires to really fulfill our true destinies, and how our lives and jobs may reflect it. I had a rather "big" bday recently and I decided it was time to do some rethinking and restructuring in my life...I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately...reading a lot of Wayne Dyer (he's the man) and taking some time to reflect on my years "growing up" and how I've evolved as an artist and human being. It's crazy to look back on the journey...and sometimes I can't even recognize myself. I remember 8 years ago I had just moved to NYC and I was working as a cocktail waitress at a dirty nightclub-and my boyfriend at the time said to me- let's call him the beast ... "You don't need to be serving people like this" and he was right. I was scared but I quit that job and not even weeks later I booked 5 months of steady work and bounced from CT to LI to Utah working as an actress... I couldn't believe how quickly it worked! Of course years went by, men came and went, relationships lasted and did not last, jobs were here and then gone, and I lost myself somewhere along the way and along with myself I lost my feelings of self worth. I got lost in who I was and who I was meant to be. My passions got waylaid and fear and ego took control of me. I wasn't sure what I was worthy of so I got what I asked for. I can't call them the "dark years" because a lot of learning and evolution happened while I was on this journey, but it was not a time where I felt I had it all before me. I sometimes felt like I had absolutely nothing. I had a man who supported me for 3 years bc I wasn't sure I could or deserved to support myself. I didn't ever do anything for me and I really didn't know what it was that I wanted to do anyway. When we broke up- much to my surprise, I supported myself. I got what I needed to survive, but not with anything that truly fulfilled my "Dharma" as Wayne Dyer calls it. I had plenty of money, but with a job that did not really make me happy. I felt trapped in a toxic world-literally surrounded by everything that solidified my unhappines and had me on the fast track to depression and guilt...not good things to feel. Nothing around me was good at this time either really including my relationships, diet, fitness regime...the list goes on... And then suddenly this year things started to change and I started to feel that I was wasting my worth and I didn't want to do it anymore.A quantum shift occurred and it wasn't good enough for me- sitting in a bar- hocking booze- and hanging with drunks just wasn't going to cut it. Nicknames like promo whore, liquor fairy and the purveyor of devils liquid didn't seem so cute anymore and I decided it was time to make a change. A series of "coincidences" or synchrodestiny- as deepak chopra calls them- started to occur- and I found myself ready to let go of this sick position I was in. It wasn't until I went to a healing with Shannon (I do Rising Star with her and it is incredibly powerful) that I finally cut the ties that held me back. I subconsciously or consciously made a mistake at work that led to my being "let go" which couldn't have made me happier. As I closed my eyes at my healing that day, and thought to myself "I cut C---- from my life" and mentally told myself it was ok to walk away from this job that I did not love, HR called to give me the so called boot and I was FREE! FREE to be me!!! It took a little time to really accept, but now I see the endless possibilities around me everywhere. And I am conscious of what I am worthy of and what I deserve. I can't settle for less, and I know that my Dharma is soon to be realized. Nothing that amazing has happened yet... like I'm not an overnight star or a millionaire, but I am happy, healthy, strong and now am aware and believe that miracles do happen every day. I am making incredible strides with my body, my mind, my career and my love of life (yes i mean love of life- not love life...but that is improving too) . I am blessed with everything I most definitely deserve and am worthy of and now that I know this I'll never be dragged into the underworld again. And its not a coincidence that as a result... I am attracting everything I need from the most amazing friends and family, to income at work I love and enjoy, creative ideas for my writing and music- heck I even look and feel more beautiful than I have ever felt in my life. So I guess I took the time to write this today to share my experience with you in case you feel the same way too....Take it from me- Sick Bitch, it is OK to hold yourself in the highest esteem and to demand only the best... because if you don't you might be wasting your worth too...amd you have far too many incredible things to be doing with your life to be letting it pass you by. Take that risk. Cut that chord. Go in seek of what makes your heart beat faster and fulfill that spark inside you. You will not regret it. I know I don't. And on a sidenote- don't feel bad that you have to go on that journey to get to the other side where you find that Dharma inside you... It's part of being human and is what makes us special...you may be sick but you can always be healed....

Tears in my Beers

Have you ever been left hanging at the bar waiting for your date literally or figuratively? Nothing sucks more than sitting alone until you realize he isn't coming... The question is how do you handle it? Do you go and cry tears in your beers for two- since you ordered him one before he didnt show? Or do you slam them both down with a shot of Jameo on the side and call your girlfriends and go danceing... me? I go home and cry to my dog. He's a good listener...while I talk he rumages through my purse chewing on every thing he can find- lipgloss, hair brush, chewing gum...

Plenty of FREAKS!

So I am somewhat loathe and shy to admit that I have spent some time surfing the net looking for my one true love... And I gotta tell you- it's slim pickings out there ladies! Im sorry to burst your bubbles but in my opinion the site Plenty of Fish should change it's name to Plenty of Freaks...and Match should be called Mismatch...and Eharmony... well I havent tried that one yet... or Zoosk... so for now your names shall remain as is. But I dont have a lot of kudos and cheers for the "land of cyber men and dating". I get several messages a day, most of them a complete waste of time, and it's like a full time job weeding through them. In my opinion, things like match.com where you basically can "shop for a man" is not an enjoyable pasttime.- and I feel like its- forgive me for saying so- the equivelent of shopping @ daffy's or any discount store or outlet mall for that matter- you have to be prepared to really root around to find anything good... I mean sometimes you do get lucky and you find that amazing Italian designer dress tucked waaaaay in the back of the rack...but let's face it- it takes time, dedication and work to find those gems. I do know of people who have found true love online so I cannot knock it entirely... but for me I feel like Forest Gump when I'm on there.... "ya never know what youre gonna get" Yes- its just like his box of chocolates- only when you open the box all the ones with the delicious raspberry filling are either gone or half eaten... and the "key is most definitely missing" so you take a bite out of each one til you find one that's worth ingesting the 250 calories in one bite for . For me whenever I've tried it, I've never had any luck...and I always leave empty handed and in fact 40$ poorer too with nothing but an arsenal of freaks and bad chocolates to show for it!

And now for you MEN on these sites trying to snag the available ladies on the market, here are a few rules or better yet guidelines for internet dating that might help you score:

*Please use full sentences. Messages like "Hi. I see you an actress. hows week going?" will not suffice

*Please write more than 1 word: Hello is not enough to make me want to date you or even write you back.

*Please live in this country. Saying things like: Hello you very beautiful. I don't know what kind of adventures that you like,and who knows? Perhaps one of its goals can be meet a Brazilian guy." is not my thing... I don't even want to date you if you live in Texas! Or Michigan!!!

*Please don't be married. Need I say more? But I applaud you for having the balls to post that honestly and expect women to be interested. And to go further... if you cant post a photo because youre hiding from your wife... it's a definite no go...

*Please dont catergorize us like this: "I believe there are only two kinds of women. The kind that replace personality with hair products and the kind that think upgrading their profile will actually get them somewhere"

*Please dont be 21.

*Please dont post photos of yourself half naked or in your bathing suit. Im sure you have a lovely body and worked very hard to get it- but leave something to the imagination. You know what they say about guys with big muscles.... small brains :)

*Please know the difference between than and then, and they're, there and their. Also your and you're. We all learned that in like 3rd grade....And if I wont' date a 21 year old why would i want to date someone with the IQ of a 10 year old!!!

*Please dont have a name like a childhood game such as the hokey pokey. I didn't like that dance/song when I was 5- I definitely don't care for it now.

*If I do decide to give you a chance and my number...please don't then text me every 5 minutes asking me what I'm doing or if I miss you...and definitely don't repeatedly send me photos of you every time you go to the bathroom. One is plenty thanks.

These are only a few that one would think would be common sense...but hey...I guess not. If you want to be a real catch- try following at least a few of these tips and then maybe at least one woman will answer you back... well some may- but those are the ones who will invite you over for a drink on the first date and open their door in crotchless panties... (I wish that wasn't a true story I heard...)

As scary as it may seem- and it is SCARY- this is all based on real actual messages and photos that I have received while enjoying the "joys" of internet dating. And YES those men whose eyes have been graciously blocked out...to protect them from the rest of the internet dating scene- ARE REAL!!! I think that one guy is Michael Bolton!!

So ladies, if you dare try it- and I encourage you to do so... just know what MIGHT be waiting for you. You might find a half eaten piece of stale chocolate- or you just might find that lonely VERSACE dress... anything's possible and it's absolutely worth the ride and maybe even the $40.

Fight or Flight- trust your instincts!!

Being a Sick Bitch, I have learned it's inevitable in the dating world today with so many different ways to meet people and communicate (Facebook, Match, Eharmony, Plenty of Fish, single events, bars) that you will have a few moments when you might find yourself in a real "pickle" and you must learn how to handle yourself before things get...sticky (eeew)...And you end up feeling like the kid in Blades of Glory in the unfortunate bathroom scene - when he sees Jon Heder- Aka Jimmy MacElroy-handcuffed to the toilet and he's asking for help and the kid just looks at him, yells "Stranger Danger!", kicks him and runs away.
I mean think about it, ever been on a blind date or a set up- and the person walks in with his (or her if a guy is reading this) crazy eyes already oogling your boobs (or "package"if youre a dude) and you just get the urge to run away? Well,I've learned from my experience that most often its best to do just that as soon as that first pang of uncertainty comes. Why prolong the inevitable uneasiness and uncomfortability... you think its going to get better? You don't need to kick him- because that's just not nice- but do find an escape route ASAP before things get worse and believe me... they DO!!



Here are a few examples of my "Stranger Danger" moments as I call them- and I always think back and go- what the F--- was I thinking?? Learn from me please! And DO NOT try this at home :)

One of my favorites is the time I befriended an old man at a CHIVAS event I was at and he convinced me to have dinner with him at the Palm. I did it thinking he needed a friend.... not so much. First of all he drove there in his Cadillac when he was BLIND- he couldnt even read the check! Second, he claimed he was twice my age when he was clearly over 70. When he asked me what I wanted from him I nicely said "I was happy to be friends" and his response was "he did not want to be friends, and in his next life he's gonna F--- me" Thanks Old dude!! It took almost 2 hours but finally I had my "Stranger Danger" moment when the bill came, and I ran away- thank GOD the studio happened to call with an emergency news session at 10pm. Yeah I was a bit tipsy for the spot but it got me away from my blind old man friend and his CAR!

Another time I agreed to go on a date with this man Gregg I met at Haru while doing a tasting with my friend Naiyng. He owned restaurants- and in Naiying's words "Take one for the team and go out with him. Maybe he'll take in Inocente". So I agreed without doing my research...had I noticed that night at Haru that he was literally shorter than ME (Im only 5'3") I would not have agreed, but by the time I saw him hop off the stool at BLT Prime with his umbrella that was as tall as him, (he looked like a little Englishman) it was far far too late! He was already bombed off his two dirty martinis and I kept thinking of my escape route, yet somehow he followed me to Flatiron Lounge. While there I found a few people to chat with, while Greg spilled his entire Manhattan down his Armani suit. A little later the guys I was talking to said to me "How well do you know this guy" and I said "not well" and they answered "Because he's leaving". And sure enough there was little Greg- all 5'2" of him- slinking out beneath his giant umbrella. I had to pay the bill that night for both of us- after I chased him down 18th Street of course- but at least I got rid of him!

There's also the time I got into that cab with that famous actor who was known for being a womanizer. I knew it was risky, and I should not have been surprised to find his hand in a place I did not expect...and I was not prepared for what he said... Wish I could tell you what it was and who it was... Maybe I'll reveal it in my memoir :)

There are so many stories I could go on forever...Scary Gary, Gerber Baby, the Nudist, guy who sends pictures of his weenie... but here are some other situations that might induce that "Stranger Danger" feeling that one might run into in one's dating life. 1) is if he's wearing a shirt that's too tight and short and looks like it might belong to a girl ,2) his glasses are crooked and he looks like a mad scientest,3) he's wearing a wedding ring, or 4)he's in the circus. And If he picks you up on the internet- especially on Facebook (it happens more than you think) the possibilities for "danger" are endless.



We are born with instincts for a reason- and I'm learning as I get older if my "danger zone" signs go off- it's best to flee the scene before it gets any worse or not even go there at all... Be like that skunk who sprayed my sister when she went outside to clip herbs this winter at my parent's house, and defend yourself!! Now Im not suggesting you pepper spray the guy- unless he's really asking for it- but I am telling you if you find yourself in a situation feeling like that kid in blades of glory- go for it- scream "Stranger Danger" and get the f ---out of there!
Of course you can take the safe route and hide in a hole like a mole and never date at all like I want to do sometimes, but what fun would that be...and....you'd never have any funny stories to write about or tell at any parties... I'm personally not going to take the hiding route- but in my old age I am trying to take my own advice and not be afraid to run if my fight or flight instincts take hold because really...who wants to make out with a blind old man, or a mad scientist look alike or a 5'2" lawyer with an umbrella as tall as him... not me...and Im certain not you either!

If at first you don't succeed....run and hide and DEFINITELY never try again!

"If at first you don't succeed, Try and Try again". It's a motto we are all familiar with, right? W.C Fields said it first (Who the F is that??), and I clearly remember Natalie Wood in Miracle on 34th Street saying it when Santa's present did not appear under the tree- a movie my mother made me watch at least five times every holiday season (she still does)... And I know they told us in grade school it was true...but when I was a kid I definitely did NOT adhere to that lesson at all. If anything my motto was "If at first you don't succeed, Run and Hide and DEFINITELY never try again!!" And sometimes it was even "Don't try EVER - because if you DON'T succeed you have to run and hide and DEFINITELY never try again because you FAILED" It's funny now to know I felt like that- but at the time I was paralyzed by the fear of looking stupid. When I think of some of the hysterical things that happened to me as a little girl- and how I ALWAYS ran and hid- often crying to my mommy- I laugh now- but it was a big deal when I was a small, impressionable girl with pigtails and a sweet top and bottom smile.
Like when we went to the beach in New Jersey with the Flory's one summer, and the boys (two crazy twins and another younger boy) rode their bikes so fast I was CERTAIN I couldn't keep up and they just left me in the dust- literally. I have a mental image of me trying to catch up on my ghetto pink bike with training wheels and those funny, metallic handle bar streamers, screaming "WAIT FOR ME" and then just turning around once they were a good 25 feet ahead (it was not a lot) and creeping back to the beach to join my mommy and Mrs. Duncan, who made me a car out of sand to ease my pain. (Thanks Mrs. Duncan- that sand car was cool). But I never tried to ride bikes with Ben and Matt and Richie again- and never even wanted to return to Lavalette again because of that one bike ride! I think I was 10. We have a photo of that sand car somewhere...
There was another time when we went to a fun place with my dad called Greenkill with the Indian Princesses (we were in a "tribe" called the Weppewaug's) and so we did all these father/daughter trips like this, and our fun day trip was to go tubing in tires down this "crazy" mountain. I remember watching all the girls go one at a time laughing- Carrie (my sister) did an awesome run- then Jill and Kirstie- then Calla Fankhanel... and I would NOT go. I looked at my dad and said "daddy please don't make me do this- I'm too scared" and he took me- threw me on a tire and pushed me down the hill!!!! Suddenly I was whisked down this mountain on a tire- half screaming half laughing with joy- and when I hit the bottom of the mountain I was so psyched! I DID IT! I stood up so proud and excited to wave to my daddy at the top of the mountain........and..... then suddenly a tire came at me-with Sam and Melanie Gold (the twins) screaming "Katie get out of the way", knocking me up in the air and tossing me flat on my back with my shirt over my head. I heard laughter all around me...and what do you think I did... that's right- I ran away- back to my cabin, to my bed, where I hid my head and cried and never tubed again. I guess in my eyes I did not succeed- so it was time to hide...
My favorite story though was when I went skiing in 6th grade with my very best friend at the time Stacy Renk and her dad "Fred" at Mohawk Mountain (which is NOT EVEN a big scary mountain). Now, I had been begrudgingly skiing a few times with my family up in Vermont with my dad- and I'd taken some ski classes- but I was not an avid skier by any means. I mastered pizza and french fries- and was able to do some basic bunny hills- but I could NOT keep up with people who skied double black diamonds (like Stacy and her dad), and when we went on this trip I was terrified. "How was I going to keep up?" "Was it going to be like the time I tried to ride bikes with Ben and Matt and Richie? in New Jersey" (I really thought that) And sure enough- Stacy and Fred were fast. We ended up on a double black diamond (HOLY SHIT), and my knees were shaking- but I told myself "I can do this" but I couldn't. They were going so fast I was left in the dust- and then I was going too fast- and then I lost them- and then I was suddenly headed down a trail that said in big giant letters " DO NOT ENTER. DANGER ZONE, and I thought to myself- "OH F---" (I was like 14, I knew that swear by now) and I had no choice but to make myself fall to stop- and so I did. And as I did , I heard this horrible crack, crunch, creek. I said to myself- what the "F---was that" and when I made sure I was still in once piece- and tried to get my skis back on, I realized that my left ski boot was cracked right through the middle- all the way across. There was no way to get it back in the ski bracket. At first I thought "God damn you dad. Always buying me hand me down skis and boots from the ski and skate sale- buying me a piece of shit pair of boots..." and then I just started to cry. When the ski patrol came by- they stopped- looked at my boots and said "oh yes there is no way you can ski in these boots" so they took my skis, got on their fancy ski mobiles- and left me to slide down the entire mountain...on my ass! I don't think I've ever been angrier or more embarassed. Shouts from people on the lifts came my way "You're supposed to ski down the mountain- not slide" "Why you crying little girl" "where are your skis bitch" and then I heard it...Stacy's voice from the ski lift- she finally appeared- "Katie- what happened? Why are you sliding down the mountain? Where are your skis?" And it poured out of me- a stream of angry profanity that went on for five minutes..."my God damn dad bought me these bleep skis and they're bleeping broken because I bleeping fell and the bleeping ski bleep patrol left me to bleeeeeeeeeep" and it went on and on. Once I got to the bottom of the mountain we pretty much left as the fun was over. On the way out the ski patrol stopped by with my skis and said they'd never seen what happened to me and my ski boot ever before- like within 10 years. That made me feel super and so we left- me with the feeling of humiliation and embarrassment and failure...and after that day I never skied again. In fact people ask me now often if I ski and I always say no- not since 6th grade when a very VERY bad thing happened...and that is where the conversation ends.
I guess I thought of this today, because this morning my friend called me to talk and share stories and have a laugh or two... We were both going over some things that were bothering us- and I thought to myself... "Wow- look at you KK-here in 2011 taking on challenges and tackling problems like a brave, strong adult... you've come a long way from that scared little girl that ran and hid from every little problem when you were young". In fact- it's hard to even believe that I'm the same little girl that once upon a time was afraid to ride a bike, ski or slide down a mountain, answer questions in school or whatever it was on any given day. Now- I'm not afraid to try things- and even though I have to often remind myself- it is ok to fail or not succeed every once in while I realized- it IS true. "If at first you don't succeed, Try and Try again" because if you don't you'll never get anywhere or experiencde anything. And I saw that little girl in my mind today and I gave her a hug and a thumbs up and made a deal with myself that I will carry from today until the day I day I die... there is no such thing as failure or fear. So what if you can't keep up, or you fall, or god forbid your shirt goes over your head...no one's watching anyway- because they're too busy worrying about their own shit- for one thing and two- there's no shame in trying again if it's something that's important to you. If you don't get it right the first time- nine times out of ten you'll have it right by the second or third or fourth...but who's counting...only you :) So go for it. Try again. Be daring. Take a risk. Hell... I may even ski this season...

Falling Down the Manhole

Have you ever heard the term "Falling down the rabbit hole"? If you went to school EVER chances are you have... from that wonderful, magical book Alice In Wonderland you read growing up. Or maybe you saw the awesome Disney cartoon or rode the rides at Disneyland (the teacups have always been a favorite of mine- except for when I barfed when I was 6). Or more recently maybe you sat and drooled or wrinkled your nose at Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in the new Tim Burton film (which I thought was wack- even after 3 cocktails, and may I add that Johnny Depp, although sexy, is weird-even in person!!) You may have even seen that crazy live action version that aired around Thanksgiving like 20 years ago where Carol Channing played the White Queen and infamously sang the song about "Jam tomorrow, Jam yesterday but never ever Jam today!"- that was my favorite moment in that movie!
Anyway-no matter where or how you were introduced to Alice in Wonderland and the tale of her curious adventures, you most certainly saw her fall right down that rabbbit hole- into a world of wonder and amazement where everything that's right seems wrong and nothing is what it is or isnt. Nothing seems to make sense, and yet she barrels through trying to find her way home. It's a fantastical journey that really doesn't seem to have any point- and yet- somehow at the other side of the hole- a lesson seems to have been learned. There has to be some reason why Alice falls down that hole- and she does reemerge changed, so to speak for the better.
I often find myself thinking, mostly after a few cocktails of course... if Alice in Wonderland were written now, what would Alice's journey be like? Who would she meet? Where would she go? What would she see? What would her challenges, advesaries and allies be? I kind of think that we are ALL like Alice- and we all travel through our own Wonderlands at different points in our lives- to teach us some sort of lesson that WE need to learn, just like Alice had things she had to learn. People even often use the phrase "I fell down the rabbit hole" to describe some sort of mistake or adventure they went on- say maybe on a Friday night, or a weekend getaway- and when they say that- they are referring to things they did that weren't so great or say...normal. And I think it's a very appropriate way to express where we went during those minutes, hours or days of our folly. It doesn't necessarily always make sense as to why we did it, or who we did it with ;) but it does express where we were when it happened. I met a girl once who told me she no longer drinks alcohol because whenever she did she'd "fall down the rabbit hole" and do things she didn't necessarily normally do and she was not proud of...things that were not safe or wise. But she did say, that like Alice, after having done them, after having gone on that crazy journey a few times over, she learned some valuable lessons and no longer needed to go on that ride.
So, after hearing many people use this phrase in relation to their own lives, I started to think about the times I "fall down the rabbit hole" only for me, because I live in New York City, and because of my affinity for disaster (I was hit by a cab, robbed twice, chased by a man off the subway...), men and construction workers (they love me)... I thought it appropriate to coin the phrase "falling down the man hole" instead! I seem to "fall down the man hole" a lot...and let me tell you it aint always pretty! Like one time, after several cocktails at a cabaret type show with some friends... I got so worked up over a man, and my career or lack thereof, I stumbled out of the Laurie Beechman with tears in my eyes, got 2 Gray's Papaya cheeseburgers and a slice of pizza (that's like 2,5000 calories!) and walked home sobbing whilst being comforted by homeless men, taxi drivers, and sailors, all the while texting my best friend about how my life was in the toilet while I kept her awake from 1am to 3am (She was almost no longer my BF by the morning), and I am lucky I didn't actually fall INTO a real manhole that night! I never did aagain! Another time, I became so consumed by a guy I liked...who was most definitely not good for me....that I STALKED HIM on facebook!!! (That's another topic for later...and we all do it....) But its not like I didnt have anything better or more important to do! And, another time I met a celebrity, who shall remain nameless , over drinks, and I knew he was flirting awfully hard...yet when it came time to say goodbye...finish that one on your own....:)
These are all kinda silly stories in retrospect but I did always learn something each time it happened, and at least THOSE manholes never happened again! Even though I made some mistakes and tried some things that didn't work, I was always wiser after it happened, and had a stronger sense of who I'm meant to be.
So anyway, maybe what I'm asking is what was Lewis Carroll trying to tell us all so many years ago with this crazy ass, psychadelic piece of fantasy? Everything's better when you're high...or drunk of course!! No...just kidding... I think it means, don't be afraid to take a risk or go on that crazy ride, or fall down that hole, because it might be just the thing you need to help yourself slay those inner dragons (or jaberwocky in Alice's case) that are holding you back, and be the bigger, stronger person you were meant to be! If you fall down a rabbit hole, or a man hole if you live in New York City, just climb back out. And think about this...maybe that hole was put there on purpose...so you'd fall in... learn that lesson...and experience something that leads you to your dharma and makes you into who youre meant to be!...The perfect thing, job or person might even be waiting there to help pick you up...but if it's/he/she's not...you can do with without them! Who needs a white rabbbit, Cheshire cat or Door mouse anyway :)